Elegy for Amy

Here I Go Again July 20, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — elegyforamy @ 1:34 am

So much has happened on my whirlwind tour of mind, body, and spirit with regards to pregnancy. The biggest news: went to the OB/GYN for my annual yesterday, and she’s officially cleared us to start trying again, like, immediately.

Cue excitement and terror. I doubled up on birth control as a result, because I am logical. Okay, really because I don’t want there to be any chance that I’m pregnant before we return from Costa Rica, a trip I would like to simply relax and enjoy without worrying about daily injections or taking pregnancy tests in a foreign land.

She asked where we were with it, and I said we’d like to start trying again this next cycle, and she exclaimed, “well, I don’t see why not!” Then gave me the full work-up and declared my womb re-opened for business. She seems excited for us, which makes me like her more.

The other reason I doubled up on birth control is more embarrassing to admit, but allow me to just embrace my crazy here – I went to see a psychic on Monday, and she told me I would be pregnant within a month, possibly a few weeks sooner than I expect. I’m somewhere in between a skeptic and a believer, but that felt a bit like playing with fire.

I’ve never seen a psychic before, but my mom and my grandmother do. Kind of more often than the average person looking to be entertained. I don’t really know what I believe about that kind of thing, except that I want it to be true especially now, and I thought, why not? Just see. Plus, I have this big personal truth now that isn’t the kind of thing the average person would guess, so if she knew about Amy… well.

Within the first five minutes, she had identified my husband’s first initial and said that she was seeing something really big in April, something that involved a lot of prayer and love for the two of us in the family. And then she said, this is just a question so don’t be alarmed, but has someone close to you passed away very recently, I’m getting that it either just happened or is going to happen. And maybe you can guess that if you’re going to see a psychic there’s a decent chance someone close to you has died, but April? I’m not saying it’s 100%, but it was uncanny for sure, as was most of the session.

She tells me that I’m going to have three children, including Amy, so two more, a girl and a boy. The girl first, she thinks. That my other two pregnancies would be complication-free and everyone will be healthy. She identified my clotting disorder and my morning sickness from last time and told me neither would be a problem in the future pregnancies. And that the girl would be a redhead.

I don’t know if I believe in or not, but I want to believe all of those things, badly (okay, the redhead thing not as important but it is my most fervent frivolous baby wish to have a redheaded baby).  I want everything to go perfectly from now on. I want to have healthy, happy, full-term babies. I want pregnancy #2 to go so well that I sign up for #3 with no reservations. So I choose to believe in it for now, because I want to.


2 Responses to “Here I Go Again”

  1. Lynlee Says:

    I want all of those things for you, too.

  2. Maya Says:

    I wish that things will go as you desire. Faith is a blessing…

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