Elegy for Amy

8w1d November 10, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — elegyforamy @ 4:07 pm

Nothing very exciting to report, as always, no news is good news. I am incredibly tired and incredibly nauseous and incredibly amused, reviewing old internet posts, about how directly the timeframe of this lines up with my pregnancy with Amy, right down to a post about badly wanting a margarita on the exact same gestational day. We have another ultrasound this coming Friday, which is really just another pity ultrasound, as the doctors have no medical reason to see me again until 12 weeks.

Which seems wrong to me, since I’m supposed to have cervical surgery at 14 weeks – doesn’t this seem like something one would want to plan more? I guess not unless it’s your cervix.

My pregnancy calendar told me today that NewBaby’s arms are currently about the same length as an exclamation point, in 14 pt font. I don’t know why but I found that amusing.

I’ve also started working on a special project, a Christmas stocking for Amy. When I was born, my mom’s coworker made a handknit stocking for me, with my name on it, and also one for my sister, and at one of those points, also ones for each of my parents, and they’ve been special to us always. Recreating these heirlooms for new family members is actually the very reason I learned to knit, and I made one for Dan several years ago and always knew if we had children I would make stockings for them too. And this, 2012, should be Amy’s first Christmas. Except it’s not, because she’ll never get a Christmas. But when I thought about hopefully making a stocking for NewBaby, next Christmas, the idea that Amy would never had one broke my heart all over again. So she’s getting one, even though she’ll never get to use it. She deserves that much. More, really, but this is the most I can do.

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