Elegy for Amy

12w3d December 10, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — elegyforamy @ 10:58 pm

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Hanging out in this scary almost-second-trimester land, close enough to see the place where we lost Amy and just hoping so hard to get far, far past it. Before 12 weeks, you don’t really feel anything, pregnancy-wise, but then the random pains, aches, cramps, and **sensations** begin. Normal sensations. But every twinge has me on high alert, and suddenly it just feels like there is something in there. Because, you know, there is.

NewBaby gave me a bit of a scare on Friday night, when I had some achiness and just wanted the reassurance of hearing that little thumpthumpthump on the Doppler. I couldn’t find it. I waited four hours, and still, nothing. And it’s still so early, really, that I knew not to worry too much, but thank you, NewBaby, for showing yourself on Saturday. The relief I felt to hear you again can not be overstated.

We had our NT scan today, which is the ultrasound where they check for markers for Down syndrome and a couple of other genetic abnormalities. It’s also, more importantly if you don’t have many risk factors for these, the first chance to really see the baby in all its baby-shaped glory. Three weeks ago, NewBaby was a vaguely baby-shaped blob roughly the size of a cashew. Today, NewBaby is, well – a baby. Very much a baby. And as his mother predicted, NewBaby is an extremely active little fetus, kicking, bucking, flipping, flopping, this kid moves constantly. Unless the ultrasond tech needs a different angle, then it’s nap time.

Oh, and it looks like NewBaby is in fact, a he. I thought I would be more sad about that, but honestly I was just glad to see how well he was doing in there that it wouldn’t have mattered at all. I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts about that later, but for now I am just grateful, and glad.

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