And yesterday’s appointment was everything we could have reasonably asked for. Maybe even a little better than that.
While we’d all love it if it would go back to being a little longer, my cervix is stable. It’s the same length, the same shape, the same everything as last week. Everything the same, at a time when they’d expect it to be least stable, is better than okay, it’s great. It’s another week, and really, it’s another many more weeks, because at 25 weeks this is still a normal length. Low-normal, but normal, and we’re not even to the cerclage yet. The doctors would be surprised if we don’t make it past 28 weeks at the very least and this gives us a very reasonable chance of making it to full-term (36+ weeks).
Bed rest has been hard, but a lot of what makes it hard is the not knowing it’s even worth it. Doing nothing but laying in bed all day, there are many moments to obsess over every twinge, every discomfort, every pang, and you wonder, is this it? I dread the ultrasounds, fear they will tell me I’m dilated, that we have to go to the hospital, that NewBaby is in danger.
Last night was the first night in probably a month that I haven’t spent terrified. We still don’t know what will happen, of course, but one way or another at this point ALL of the odds are in this kid’s favor. And this bed rest, this annoying, ache-inducing bed rest, it’s helping, and now we’re really getting somewhere, and that makes it all okay.
And then there is NewBaby himself. It’s ridiculous, how much you can love someone who isn’t even really here yet. He entertains us daily with his flailing, he interferes with ultrasound measurements, he’s adorable and he’s ours and he’s very much alive and getting more so. He’s measuring nearly 2 lbs as of yesterday. I am so excited to meet him.